Twitterphilliac – So that’s what you call it!

So four little years ago I reluctantly joined Facebook (“Meh…it’ll never take off”). I felt the peer pressure and what the hell- everyone else seemed to be joining the bloody thing.

That was in the days of yore when only the yanks and the British academic elite were allowed on (remember those days?!) A year or so later it was opened up to remaining universities, then companies, specific networks and eventually, everyone. A sense of scholastic snobbery overwhelmed me when I realised all those polys (ugh, Coventry University, the Warwick polytechnic counterpart) could join but hey- my friend list rapidly expanded and that’s all I cared about.

Slowly but surely, a whole new world emerged before me. That’s right folks, the world of ‘social networking’ (Hmm, what an interestingly faddy expression I then pondered). Little did I know back then as the naïve and hungover fresher that I was that this little development would revolutionise the way in which my generation lived their lives.

Sure, I’d been aware of sites like MySpace and Bebo and as a 19 year old I was naturally a fan of instant messenger but I was in no way prepared for the force that Facebook inflicted on our humble existence.

I’m now 22, graduated and working full- time. A grown up apparently. Heck- I even pay council tax. However, much to my dismay, I’ve realised that a colossal amount of my adult existence is coordinated online.

What’s the first thing I do when wake up in the morning? I turn on my laptop and go on Facebook. Yep, Even before I’ve gone to the loo.

I get into the office at 8.30am and whilst impatiently waiting for Outlook to load, I’m logging into facebook, Hotmail and Twitter simultaneously. It doesn't matter that I already checked these on my phone on the way in.

Throughout the working day I have Facebook minimised on my browser and check it at least every ten to fifteen minutes. I scan around the office and see my colleagues all doing the same thing, all of us not-so-discreetly trying to keep the action under wraps.

I drag myself home from a boozy night out and yep, you guessed it- I log on Facebook (the fact that I cannot coordinate brain and fingertips is not a problem).

I have to log on. No, I MUST log on.

My internet connection at home is notoriously unpredictable and vindictive. If I can’t get online for more that a couple of hours I begin experience fleeting moments of panic. What’s going on? What are people doing? Has anyone written on my wall? Have I been tagged in any unflattering photos from the night before that I need to get rid of? Longer than half a day without it and I find myself fighting the urge to smash my laptop to pieces with the nearest blunt object and report T-Mobile internet to BBC Watchdog. Not able to take anymore, I promptly head to the public library where the internet works god damn it!

I think I’ve got a problem. No, I’ve definitely got a problem. Sooner or later I won’t remember what my friends look and sound like (with a Facebook profile and Facebook chat- who needs real life)

I recently read some where that the clever people over at Vodafone HQ have coined the term Twitterphilliac (I know, sounds ridiculous, but hear me out).

1 result for: Twitterphiliac

Noun: Someone who is addicted to social networking and suffers from uncontrollable urges to update their status – e.g. Tweeting

Verb: To ‘Twitterbate’

They commissioned some research and found that 60% of Brits admit to being hooked on social networking, and a further 30% are so addicted that they need to access these sites (i.e. Facebook, Twitter, MySpace etc etc) literally ALL THE TIME.

That’s me. A Twitterphilliac. Oh dear, I’m screwed.